Tuesday, December 20, 2011

What Christmas means to me, my love.

Bunny's due date.
Our 6th wedding anniversary.
Christmas Day.

That's what this weekend will be for us.

I'm not going to lie...I have really mixed feelings about Christmas. I know I want to enjoy it and make the most out of it for Lucy but it is HARD to deal with all three of those things hitting at once and having to go through it without G.I. Joe here. When he is able to talk he is always reminding me that Bunny will have the best Christmas out of any of us and that should make me happy. It does. But it doesn't. My mind occasionally wanders to thoughts of the full term newborn I should be holding now, or about to be holding. Of course that makes me even more emotional about how delicate this pregnancy has been. As of today I made it to 31 weeks with Disney Baby and that's huge! Last Saturday I just felt sure that he was going to be born in the middle of the night. Now I'm having to rest so much to make sure he does stay put at least until 34 weeks.

We have so much to be thankful for its just hard every now and then to get over this hump when things really hit me. I had been counting on staying super Christmas busy to get through all this but that's not happening now. In way...as emotional as I get at times over hitting 3 milestones/holidays at once without G.I.Joe...I am thankful for being forced to slow down. I haven't been able to do any cards or presents for lots of family like I wanted but its made me get back to why Christmas is really important. Why He was born. He was born to die and I have hope because of it. And I'm so thankful that G.I. Joe shares that hope with me. I don't know what I would do without it.

I'm also super blessed because since I can't travel (being in the car for just a little while triggers too many contractions) my family is coming to us! Lucy still gets to see everybody and the holiday will feel somewhat normal. I appreciate so much more of the little stuff this year than I would have without these things. G.I. Joe had left a recordable Frosty The Snowman book for Lucy and we tried it Sunday night only to find it kept shorting out. Then he just *happened* to call that night and told me how to fix it. Lucy's face in the morning when she got to hear his voice was priceless! And Sunday morning at church there was standing room only so I was prepared to sit out in the hall but a few people insisted on getting chairs in the service so I didn't have to miss it. (G.I. Joe thought it was comical that at a Christmas service there was no room for the pregnant lady, haha!) A woman I had never seen before came up and said she was glad they got me and my dad chairs and that she had been worried about me. Someone I don't even know knew our situation and was praying for us.

Really, this Christmas hasn't been bad.

Its been emotional, but maybe its been just what we needed.

I haven't even been able to focus on doing stuff like editing pics or taking Lucy's Christmas pictures yet but I just wanted to jump on here and share what Christmas is for us this year. Not everything can be super jolly but its the not jolly moments that make us appreciate the true meaning and happy moments even more. At the end of A Christmas Carol its said of E. Scrooge that "he knew how to keep Christmas well." I want that to always be said of me no matter what the circumstances around us.



Getting to see Disney Baby's smiling face this afternoon was an amazing Christmas present!
He kept smiling when he would hear Lucy talk :) 
He's got tons of hair already and looks just like his big sister,
but he also seems to have his Daddy's chin dimple. 



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5 comments:

Wife of a Sailor said...

((hugs)) I can't imagine what an emotional roller coaster this month is for you. Hang in there.

Amanda said...

Merry Christmas!

I know this time of year can be rough for people for many reasons.. just know that you aren't alone.

I hope it is everything you wanted and more.

P.S. So excited about the baby!

Name: Holly Bowne said...

What a lovely post. I haven't been by for a while. Just hoping all is well with you and your family. God bless!

G.I. Joe said...

hey beautiful! i just wanted you to know that i had the chance to read this and that i love you.

-G.I. Joe

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