Monday, August 2, 2010

Knock, Knock

 My fabulous partner-in-crime over at Ask The Milies is Kerry-Ann.
She planned an awesome post today for you guys about following your dreams while supporting your man in uniform.


It’s been over a decade since I decided to jump aboard the military wife train. I have to admit that when my husband and I first got together my biggest fear wasn’t whether he’d be sent to war since we were together before 9/11. Back then my biggest fear was whether I’d have to give up on my dreams.

During my freshman year in college I decided to take a few acting classes to fill up my elective credits while studying to be a Pediatrician. After my first acting class I fell in love with all things performance. I tried my best to snap out of it but was convinced that there had to be something to the way I was feeling after I watched “The Sister Act II” when Whoopi’s character was talking to Lauryn Hill’s character about following her dreams. She said something to the effect of “If singing is the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think of before you go to sleep then honey, you were born to be a singer.”

This happened before I met hubby so when we started dating and was later faced with having to PCS, I was a little hesitant because I thought for sure that I would have to give up my dreams because there was no way hubby was going to give up his career in the Marine Corps for me to pursue a career in acting. Add on 2 kids and I was sure I’d have to give up “my” dreams.

So what happened? Resentment! I resented myself for not planning well enough. I resented the Marine Corps for not allowing my husband to get off in time to watch our children so I could go on auditions. I resented them even more when I actually got a lead role and had to back out because the filming schedule didn’t fit with my husband’s schedule. I even started to resent hubby every time he would receive acclamations for him being an exemplary Marine. I resented feeling this way because here my husband was trying to be a great husband and father and risking his life to serve our country while I was being a sour puss.

To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. I finally decided that I’d snap out of it and do something. I tried my best to work around hubby’s schedule. I worked my butt off trying to get experience in the entertainment field. Often times I’d end up driving 2 to 3 hrs to LA from San Diego after working an 8 hr shift at work only to audition for 10 minutes then drive back in time to tuck the kids in at night. What really fueled me was the fact that if my children ever got to a point where they wanted to just settle in life, I wanted to prove to them that they should always push through and follow their dreams no matter how many obstacles may stand in their way.

Sure I’m not at the level I’d like to be in the entertainment industry and yes there were times when having to back out of a project or not auditioning at all for a while would drive me crazy but I was and still am very proud of myself for not settling.


Being a military wife is very rewarding and can be quite challenging but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up on “yourself.” It’s the best feeling in the world when I get to do something for “me” not because I’m a military spouse but because I put in the effort for something. Hey if we can go through what we go through on a daily basis with our husbands and not go clinically insane, we can overcome a few little road blocks to make sure that we follow our dreams. Aren’t we all worth it? ;)






11 comments:

LTarmywife said...

I think we all have felt that sort of "resentment." We have times where we wish our own dreams could come first, but then we realize the sacrifice our spouses make, and it completely adjusts our outlook. What a wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it!

Goodnight moon said...

I absolutely LOVED this post! It is soooo very true! You can foresure "lose" yourself under his cammie's. I've said it a million times...it takes a very special lady to be a successful military wife. And you, Kerry-Ann are JUST that!!!!!!! Great post!

Sammie said...

Love this post! I'm a new military wife & this is also one of my biggest fears. I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Sociology right before hubby joined the Air Force so I've already worked hard toward my goals. And now its going to be harder to reach them. But I've already started thinking of different ways I can achieve my dreams & still support my husband. His career even opened some doors I never thought would open for me--like the opportunity to pursue a writing career. As long as a military wife has optimism and takes an active role in her life, I think she can achieve just about anything!

Mrs. G.I. Joe said...

Girl, I love this!

I completely agree with what you said about teaching your kids. That's why I work so hard on my writing career. One day if Lucy ever even thinks twice about whether dreams come true I want to be the proof for her.

And if any women out there are capable of being "the wife" "the mommy" AND achieving anything else in the process...I believe us Milies all have the capability.

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

Fantastic post! It took me almost a decade, but I've finally learned that MY dreams can't take a backseat to my husband's. I'm finally pursuing interests I've been talking about for years. And what a great feeling that is! Thanks for sharing.

Ali said...

great honest post :)

Ashley said...

Great post! I felt this way for a while because I didn't finish school. I will now graduate in December and realize that it was my husband's career that lead me to be a teacher!!

Kerry said...

Thank you guys SOOO much for the sweet comments! I really appreciate it. I wish you all the very best with all your dreams, may they all come true! Thanks a bunch to my partner in crime for allowing me to share my story. ;-)

JG said...

Wow, this really spoke to me today! Thanks for sharing this, Mrs. GI Joe and Kerry Ann!

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I definitely struggle with that resentment and those internalized feelings of why can't I do something for ME? Thank you for sharing!

Stephanie Hartman said...

Love the post.. I love how you are so honest.