I have heard a lot of things like:
"Oh wow. G.I. Joe's job is tough/dangerous/stressful.
I'm so glad my husband doesn't do that."
"I won't let my husband/boyfriend/fiance have that job."
Sometimes people get really worried saying that to me, like I'll get offended. I really don't mind stuff like that. I'm proud of how brave he is and how sturdy it makes our relationship that we can withstand certain things. But I also am not so unrealistic that I don't ever worry. I worry...a lot. (In an upcoming post I'll share my "worst fears" and a little about my freshman year as a Milie to explain some of that) There have been times when I wished he had a "safer" job. The thing is though that "safer" is very subjective. Please show me an MOS that doesn't deploy at all, ever. You'll be hard pressed to find one.
When he was enlisting the first time we weren't even dating. Now he's re-enlisting and I know that if I asked, he would chose a job he doesn't love just to put my mind at ease or to make things more convenient for me. G.I. Joe has certain dreams for his career but he loves his girls more and would gladly do something else. He's told me that many times. But I don't believe its my place to tell him what MOS he can or can't have. I don't feel right about telling him what branch to go into and which to stay out of. Mainly because if he feels called to save lives in this way, I could be doing people I don't even know a lot of harm all due to my fear. So I try my hardest to live above the fear and focus on how proud I am of him.
G.I. Joe will spend the rest of his career deploying a lot, in danger a lot...but the one area I do feel like I pull a little more weight in is what capacity he serves. Will he do those things as a Master Sergeant? A Warrent Officer? Or a Commander? I'm not going to put my foot down and say "you need to go this way" but this is where I don't feel a bit of hesitation to give him a little nudge toward what I think he would be good at. All the while knowing I'll support him no matter what decision he makes.
So I do make my opinions known, and he considers them whole-heartedly. Certain decisions though are 100% his.
How do you handle these decisions in your family? How much of the decisions should include the spouse or future spouse? I don't think anyway is really wrong, until someone throws out an ultimatum that's just totally unfair. The way we do things wouldn't work for every other family out there, and what works for you all might not work for us either!
Also, on a totally unrelated note...stop by Ask the Milies today! We want YOUR advice on PCS! We're compiling a big posts that will be made up of the awesome advice from our readers. This first round will be for PCS So just imagine a new military wife approaches you and she's about to make her first move. What would you tell her that you wish someone would have told you? All you have to do to see your advice featured on the site is fill out the Question form on the main page. In the body put your advice. We can't wait to see the outcome of this because we know that all military wives have so much wisdom to offer.