Saturday, May 22, 2010

Wanna play my game?

Hopefully sometime next week I'll post a full rundown of what's going on at this stage of my book writing process. I've had so many friends send me messages and want to know "what's next?"

Well, one big thing (besides getting the edits finished) is writing a book proposal. A key part of my proposal is marketing. With that I have to include at least 5 "competing titles." That means I need to find 5 other memoirs, preferably military spouse books, to compare my book too. I've read 3 now and only loved one. That was Mollie Gross's book "Confessions of a Military Wife."*

The other 2 memoirs that I decided to take on came in yesterday. I won't get into the reasons why I really didn't want to read either of these but I picked up the lesser of the two evils. Oh my goodness. I'm ready to toss this book out the window. Aside from its lack of insight and support for military spouses, its not even written well. The author repeats the same phrases every single page.

Apparently the only way to say "While my husband was deployed" is to say "while my husband was deployed." So that phrase is on just about every page. Is there really no other way to say that?

Oh, I can think of a few simple alternatives...

when my soldier was in the sandbox
while the love of my life was a world away
while the man of the house was out playing G.I. Joe's

Or how about colorful alternatives...

when my husband was fighting the ultimate "political pissing match" war
while the MacDaddy was in Bagdaddy


G.I. Joe rolled his eyes at that last one, but you get the picture. Help me make it through this book! I do have to read it cover to cover so I'm trying to make it a game. What are you best variations on the phrase "while my husband was deployed"



*I find Mollie Gross to be extremely entertaining but do not agree with her strict advice of keeping everything even slightly negative from a deployed service member. But, that's a blog for another day.

23 comments:

Mrs. Muffins said...

lol...

"while the hubs was out playing his real-life war games..."

"the time in which my phone became an appendage..."

Mel said...

I don't have a catchy title alternative - I have another memoir you should check out.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1602860831/ref=oss_product

I really loved this one!

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

I don't have any but yours are good! Love it!

Amanda said...

"when my husband was fighting the ultimate "political pissing match" war
while the MacDaddy was in Bagdaddy"


hahahaha! that's a good one!

Sarah said...

How about "while my G.I. Joe was out trying to get his Combat Badge..." or "while my best friend was half a world away..." If you're gonna write a book, creativity would be nice, huh? Sorry you're stuck reading such a crummy book. =(

flips and boots said...

While Romeo was out wearing Supermans cape ;)

A Sailor's Wife said...

I so like Flips and boots response :)

Beth said...

How about While I was holding down the fort???

Ashley said...

YIKES!!!!! Cannot wait to read your book!

Antiope said...

My husband and I dual-military, and now that he's the one deployed and I am the one at home (I can tell you, it's much easier to be the one deployed), I find that a lot of my conversations revolve around this. So yes, it's good to be creative if you want to remain interesting!

I try to leave it vague - "While Theseus is gone, I'm going to repaint the bathroom." It takes the sting out of it. :/

The Mrs. in Stilettos said...

My friend Michelle Cuthrell Wrote behind the blue star banner and I thought it was a really good read. Her publishing company is also looking for new books to publish! You can look her up on facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/michellescuthrell?ref=ts
and here is the link for her book :)

http://www.behindthebluestarbanner.com/buythebook.html

Meg said...

I'm reading Mollie Gross's book right now and enjoying it so far. I like her take on things.

Good luck with your proposal!

Ashley said...

With catchy phrases like that, I want to read your book RIGHT.NOW!

Ive read a few of the books ... this one I DONT recommend if you havent already read it. It was NOT what I was looking for, and was actually really boring!!!

http://www.amazon.com/365-Deployment-Days-Wifes-Survival/dp/1933538945/ref=pd_sim_b_4

The Mrs. said...

While geographically single.....

When he is in __enter country__....

While absense was making the heart grow fonder.....

While my heart was off taking care of our freedom...

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

I don't have any catchy titles for you. I'm just cheering you on and looking forward to hearing about the whole publishing process!

A Lady in Waiting said...

Love all of your variations. How about the one we've all heard as far as stickers, pins, etc. which we can purchase:

While half my heart was in Iraq/Afghanistan/a war zone (whichever you prefer)

And then how about:

While I played mom and dad OR While I was being a single parent (of course those only work if you have children)

And yeah...I feel like creativity is only SLIGHTLY important when you are writing a book.

September Love said...

J, you are too funny. This post really makes me wish we were closer so we could hang out more <3

So, what about going at it a different way, like restructuring the clause a bit...instead of "while my husband was away", try "While I waited for news from my soldier" or "while I counted down the days to his homecoming" ... use a phrase that will make the reader understand that M was gone, without having to tell them again that he was gone. Does that make any sense at all?

Or...if there are any sentences that can stand alone without the introductory "While my husband was deployed", just delete the clause altogether.

xoxo!

LCpl'sPrincess said...

I agree on the Mollie Gross side note!

One Southern Girl said...

1. I love your new blog design! Beautiful!

2. Saw 'while the MacDaddy was in Bagdaddy'... ROTFLOL!!! That's sheer genius!

3. PLEASE let me know when your book comes out... I want to read it!

4. I love Mrs. Muffins' "the time in which my phone became an appendage..."

Mrs. S said...

The "MacDaddy was in Bagdaddy" one made me laugh.

And I totally agree with you on the negative news thing.

Mrs. G.I. Joe said...

Hahaha...The MacDaddy in Bagdaddy is a favorite of mine. I laughed so hard at myself when I told that to G.I. Joe. He was amused but not in the same way. It was more "OMG, is my wife really that cheesey?"

September Love...I couldn't agree more! I don't know why on earth she used that phrase so much. The book title has "deployment" and "survival" in it...so we know all this is "while your husband was deployed." Makes me want to rip my hair out.

I really need to get the Blue Star Banner book. I've heard good things about it.

Mollie Gross is sooooo funny. I laugh til I cry with her. But once I got to the end of her book I didn't really agree with her 100%. She's still funny though.

The book "I Love A Man In Uniform" has been recommended a lot. I've read it and didn't love it. Her writing style bores it and comes off melodramatic. Huge "but" here: its far from being the worst thing I've read lately so I'd still recommend it to others. :)

Mrs. G.I. Joe said...

Oops! That last bit should say "her writing style bores ME and it comes off..."

whew, late night!

MommyToTwoBoys said...

Here's one, "While I was stuck doing everything in and outside of our house, taking care of our kids, trying to keep holidays, birthdays, and celebrations upbeat, responding to emergencies on my own, but yet still having it way easier than my husband." A little bit of a run on huh?