Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Friendships: the new, the true and the gone.



Before we went on vacation I had the pleasure of meeting another one of my awesome online friends. A and I go "way back." We met on Babycenter because we both had something BIG in common. In late September 2008 we both expecting beautiful baby girls. We've "known" each other since before we each held our daughters in our arms. You could definitely say we've been through a lot together. A is also a military wife. So we've chatted through that uncomfortable last week of pregnancy, alerted one another to every major milestone and felt more at ease knowing someone else was doing the single military parent thing too. When we found out her husband would be at school here we knew we had to meet up. Our visit was full of laughter. It felt just like I knew it would...like we've really known each other all this time.

Friendships are extremely important to me and something I don't take lightly. Earlier in my pregnancy, I parted ways with one of my closest "real life" friends. We had known each other almost 10 years. I was angry at first but then for weeks I cried someone-just-died tears. I won't get into why we "parted ways." For one, people who actually know me read this blog and I don't want to bad mouth her. The other big reason is that I know my readers. And I don't want anyone wasting their time being angry on my behalf. All I'll say is, I take my friendships very seriously but my family (G.I. Joe and Lucy) will always come first.

I think that true friends understand this. I've had to laugh (to keep from crying) in the past when people have accused me of not being a good enough friend. Um, yeah I could always do better. I do always make the effort to do better. However, if my husband is moving home for the first time ever in three years, yeah you might not hear from me every single day. Is that selfish of me?

When I say I take friendships seriously, I mean it. I've seen things go terribly wrong when you think you know someone for 10 years and they up and theoretically spit in your face. So when true friends come around, I am smart enough to recognize it and be thankful for it. At the same time though I understand my friends' top priorities needs to be their own husband and kids.

If it takes you (or your friends) a while to get schedules together enough to meet up or send each other messages, no one should freak out. True friends can always pick right back up where they left off. My best friend Chrissy, who I shared the awesome pictures of, is in college right now. I have G.I. Joe and Lucy, and she has her family, long distance boyfriend, and classes. Sometimes it takes us longer than we like and play phone tag for a week. But you know what? I still love her to pieces and I know when we sit down at Starbucks next time we'll talk for hours and laugh our butts off.

That's what happens when you have a true friend. And I'm so thankful that I have people like that in my life. (That includes those of you I haven't even been able to meet in person yet!)






Lucy made a friend, too!




P.S. I'll be posting Disney pictures soon!



27 comments:

Aimee said...

I totally agree with you! I've lost some friends by my own choice since I've had my daughter. I made up my mind that if they can't understand that she and Hubs come first, they aren't worth having around.

Glad you finally got to meet your online friend! I got to do that about a year ago and it was great!!!

Jessica said...

Thank you for posting this...I agree with everything you said, especially the part that true friends understand if you can't talk everyday and can always pick right up when you do get together.

mrs.griffin said...

This is so sweet. I love the picture of the two girls- they are adorable!

Mateya said...

So much truth in this post! I totally agree! The BEST friends are the ones you know you could not see for months and still pick right back up where you left off!

Carrie said...

Aw, I love these pictures! :) And I'm glad to hear that you have people in your corner while G.I. Joe's away.

Mrs. Doc Handsome said...

You hit the mark spot on here! It is hard I've found for some of my friends to understand and recognize that my family comes first. I truly believe that's how it should be and I would expect the same from them. I agree that true friendships can pick up where they left off no matter how much time has lapsed. Great post!! The pictures are adorable. The kids looked like they were having a blast!

Amber said...

I couldn't agree more having just lost someone I thought to be a close friend I could have written a good part of this post.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Aw, super sweet post! I got your email and I promise, promise, promise! To respond tonight after work!

Birdie said...

Speaking the truth, lady! I treasure good friends and mourn for friendships that end badly. Even when there's anger, there's always a reason you were friends and that's what you mourn for.

Karren said...

Great post! I completely agree. True friends should understand that your husband & child will always come first.. and if they can't understand that, well they are obviously not worth having around.

Sarah said...

It's weird and sad how that happens as we get older. I only have a few friends that are able to pick up where we left off and not make me feel guilty for having a life.

But, yay for meeting new friends!!! I think that's one of the best parts of blogging - meeting new friends! (I know you didn't meet her through blogging, but still.)

Emily @ Longley's in San Diego said...

I couldn't agree more with you!!

Those pictures are cute.

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September Love said...

What a sweet post! about our visit, girl It was so nice to get to finally meet you! It sounds totally silly because we only got to actually be with each other for an afternoon, but I miss you :) What a lovely post. And (as with basically everything) I am totally with you on your stance on friends. You know when they're real *hugs* - A

Elaine said...

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Kerry said...

Aww, this is such a sweet post hon.

Great pics and you're so right on regarding friendships. People come into your life for a season and a reason, sometimes they stick around long sometimes they leave early, either way, there's a lesson in it for us all. It's up to you whether you wanna take the lesson positively or negatively.

Of course since you're such a wise soul, you'll know how to take the bad and switch it around to learn just what God wants you to learn. :)

4tmama said...

You said it!! I wish I could quote you, leaving out names, to someone whom I've known since inuyreo who just all of a sudden flipped on me....I have always had her back, your words ate just so prophetic considering what we have gone thru!!!!

MommyToTwoBoys said...

Great post. Most of my friends from college are just now getting married and I have been married 7 years this summer and have a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. We are still friends, but they just don't "get it" yet. But they will. I just have to give them time.

JG said...

What sweet pictures. Relationships are the only things you can take with you, and the things most worth investing in.

Amanda said...

i totally agree! and i cant wait to see disney pics!
you have an award over at my blog. :)

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

My heart breaks every time I lose a friend. Most of the time when I think about them though, I realize the friendships had been very one sided for a long time. Losing friends is hard but realizing that you have a few really beyond phenomenal friends more than makes up for it.

LCpl'sPrincess said...

everytime you post pics on your blog all i can think is " gah her photos always catch such a great moment" i am so ready for the book to hit the shelves!

Aqua M said...

I think you know that you pretty much echoed my sentiments on the subject. :) A life lesson that I'll never forget.

Ashley said...

That is so wonderful that both you and Lucy were able to make good friends who know what you've been through, and are going through :)

A Sailor's Wife said...

I just recently ended a friendship with someone i knew for 30 years, but was very 1-sided and I just didn't have the energy for it anymore

A Lady in Waiting said...

This is really neat that ya'll were able to be there for each other through the pregnancy and have kept in touch since. And I know what you mean about "true friends". I have some friends that I haven't actually seen in a couple years but when we have a chance to talk on the phone we just pick up from where we left off like nothing ever changed since high school or college. Glad you and Lucy both got to meet/make a new friend!

Kathryn said...

Great post, very heartfelt. I have had the same problem with several of my friends as well. It's hard when it happens, and I wish we didn't have to go through stuff like that but I guess life happens, right? Thanks for sharing!